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hello?? Hey Newsletter Subscriber #304! The Stanley Parable: Ultra Deluxe is out now on iOS!
You can try the game for free and explore the entirety of The Stanley Parable without paying! At least until the narrator notices…
We’ve further optimised the game so it runs smoothly on any iPhone or iPad released in the last 6 years or so and the UI has been completely overhauled to allow for comfortable play in either portrait or landscape mode! Available now! Just click the link above! omg!! Crows Crows Crows Newsletter?? I totally remember subscribing to you! what more can you tell me about this exciting new version? are there many ways to play?? Great question! You can play with one hand, two hands or even a controller! incredible! how about some screenshots? Yeah sure, let me just swap to one of my other iPads... ?? |
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Hey! Got those screenshots for you!
Are you getting any of these? Subscriber #304? Hello? hey, yeah i'm not getting any images through your messages are coming through green, did you run out of data? Ah, yes! That makes sense. I've already done this three hundred times today already- but don't worry! That's what my other iPhones are for! iphones??? why do you have so many apple devices?? |
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hey where did you go? Sorry, I got distracted there for a second- I realised all the screenshots are on the App Store page, you can uh, just click through to see them, I don't need to send you them on here.
yeah it's cool no worries, i already bought the game on switch, ps5, steam and xbox. i'm more interested in why you suddenly have so many iphones lying around your office... Well, we had to buy so many to test the game! We figured 500 iPhones and 500 iPads would be sufficient, then we can just sell them on the side - it's a cool money hack our accountant taught us! i'm pretty sure that's fraud... Uh, yeah, I don't remember signing up to your Legal Lawyer Newsletter... Let's get back on topic. what?? Oh wait I'm low on charge, gotta switch devices one sec. ... |
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The Soundtrack is now Streaming! 
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So! That just about wraps it up! nice finally my stanley parable all tracks spotify playlist will be complete
Take it easy #304, see you in the next newsletter! peace |
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ANDROID USER GROUP CHAT
Crows: Hello, is anybody online?
SuperHacker: I'm here, what's the deal with no android version?
SkwiptKiddy2K18: Peh, with some rudimentary programming knowledge any fool should simply be able to port the game themselves. :-)
Crows: Yeah, sorry y'all, it's just iOS for now...
SuperHacker: This is truly the final straw Crows. Your disrespect of the Android Community has officially surpassed our limit.
SkwiptKiddy2K18: Wergh! It's true! What exclusive content have you got for us??
Crows: I've got a pretty neat PDF...?
SuperHacker: ...
SuperHacker: Yeah?
Crows: Yeah, I'll paste it via "hyperlink", that way nobody on an iPhone will know how to access it.
Crows: https://crowscrowscrows.com/email/52/ass... ...ets/CopyConductorTX980InstructionManual.pdf
Crows: Plus, I know y'all have other consoles - we're really just targeting the grandmas and the skibbidy generation with this release...
SuperHacker: Alright... This pdf is pretty neat, and that is a really sound business justification...
SuperHacker: But is there anything else you're forgetting??
Crows: Alright, alright. You twisted my arm. Here's a link to the third and final part of Jessica Veronica's original Love Story - "Two Boys Two Cups".
Crows: https://crowscrowscrows.com/email/52/twoboys.html
SkwiptKiddy2K18: Yessssssss
SuperHacker: All is forgiven!!