Dear Subscribers,
The title of this newsletter is Good News and Bad News, and to give it a nice structure we are going to divide it into two equally compelling parts. This structure is unique and totally different to all of our previous newsletters.
Good News and Bad News (This Email) gives its text a powerful sense of duality, with two equally balanced segments of Good and Bad. Not unlike the human brain, the yin yang symbol or any fire/ice level you played between the ages of 8-12.
So, without further delay allow us to introduce...
The good news is… we're still convinced we’re keeping it fresh with these newsletters. I know we’d all like to write our own reviews but— come on this is email number 36! We’ve done comics (Email #18), zines (Email #23), and even the fortnite thing (Email #30), but despite coming up in the shadow of those HTML powerhouses, Good News and Bad News? Blows them all away.
I bet we’ll even promo our 
community discord in some new integrated way! Truly, the Crows Crows Crows newsletter is only getting better with age.
Such good news!
Nice. : )
Okay so the bad news is… there are multiple pieces of bad news.
BAD NEWS SEGMENT 1
We are delaying The Stanley Parable: Ultra Deluxe to 2021. Here are three statements about why this needed to happen.
(Click on any of the images to get to the original tweet, which will feature a RT button.)
If you have any questions or concerns please direct them to printed copies of the above statements.
BAD NEWS SEGMENT 2
The second piece of bad news is… this email has been delayed.
We shared The Stanley Parable: Ultra Deluxe Delay Announcement (Part 2) a couple of days ago on our Twitter. Until then we had always offered our loyal email subscribers the first look at updates, before giving them to any other platform. This failure has weakened our beloved newsletter’s integrity and relevance.
The following “gaming news” articles stand as testament to our betrayal of you, our loyal newsletter subscribers.
Destructoid – I don't love that Stanley Parable: Ultra Deluxe was delayed, but I love the way it was announced
GameSpot – The Stanley Parable: Ultra Deluxe Announces Delay In The Most Stanley Parable Way Possible
The Verge – Deathloop and The Stanley Parable: Ultra Deluxe are the latest games to get delayed to 2021
We’re not gonna ask you to click through to these articles and post comments (ideally from multiple accounts) in order to bolster these website’s perception of the value of articles about our products. I know you were looking forward to doing exactly that but… it just wouldn’t be right to ask.
And if you think that’s bad news...
BAD NEWS SEGMENT 3
This email no longer contains equal amounts of “Good News and Bad News”. It is clearly not living up to the structural hype it received in its intro.
I also think the longer this segment goes on the further we get away from reasonably titling this newsletter “Good News and Bad News”, but who reads an email that’s just called “Bad News”?
goddddddd this sucks
I suppose it “promised something and then didn’t deliver” which is kind of a metaphor for us delaying a game we already delayed before, but any further development or rewrites of this email to sharpen that point will siphon more time away from The Stanley Parable: Ultra Deluxe so…
We’re sticking with “Good News and Bad News” as the title of this email and we’re releasing The Stanley Parable: Ultra Deluxe in 2021.
That’s it. We don’t have time for a second draft of this one.