To our wonderful players, fans and community: It’s finally time for us to address some of the accusations you’ve been hearing about. It took us a bit too long and we know that, but now that we’ve worked our way through what happened, we’re ready to apologize.
We owe our subscribers everything, and that includes the truth. The rumours you’ve heard – that we’ve been involved in harvesting tadpoles – are unfortunately part of that truth.
Three years ago, we were approached by [REDACTED NAME] from Shpleebly Drink Corporation. They offered us funding for multiple games, with the condition that we include on-brand subliminal Shpleebly advertising in them. They also insisted that we legitimise the deal with the midnight harvesting of thousands of tadpoles from our local pond.
We’d like to be able to earnestly promise you that we did not know what the tadpoles would be used for. But the truth is, some of us knew and were complicit. Others were totally innocent. We expect our ongoing internal accountability process to continue to account for this freaky breakdown in communication. We’re totes getting to the bottom of it.
The truth is, our Shpeebly Drink representative repeatedly communicated to us that the beverage was made from tadpole juice. We just didn’t want to hear it. It didn’t profit us to hear it.
We drank. We smoked cigarettes. We tainted our games with corporate promotion. We damaged our creative integrity. We supported the destruction of countless ecosystems. We tried to have a frog killed. And we did this all in the service of profits we mercilessly culled from Shpleebly Drink Corporation.
We reached rock bottom in a Berlin nightclub. A handful of pills, a mouthful of cash and not a thought to the tadpoles that were sacrificed so that we could keep releasing free games.
Getting pre-nominated for the Apology Awards 2K18 made us feel really sorry, but not almost half as sorry as we are for not apologizing sooner.
So we want to thank you for giving us the opportunity to say that we’re sorry and learn from our actions… and to cement this apology into reality we are very proud to announce: